Okay, I feel totally ridiculous for how much this whole TV thing got to me. And I found a way to make myself feel better. I'm posting a picture of myself looking completely grubby. The only makeup I'm wearing is the stuff I didn't quite manage to wash off last night. My hair is a mess, and I'm wearing a shirt I've had since high school (hey grunge! I still love you!) How is this helping? Well, because I think what was bothering me was that I felt like what was out there was a very distorted version of me. I am comfortable with actual me, but I didn't feel right about cankle-necked washed … [Read more...]
So glad I didn’t hit Publish Post
Yesterday, I wrote this really long diatribe about how confident and comfortable I am in my own skin now and how I like me and I'm proud of my accomplishments. Then the segment I taped came on TV and I got distracted and didn't hit send. They were so kind to me at the station and I am really so thankful for the opportunity, but can I just say Holy unflattering camera angle, Batman! I'm trying to be good and recognize that I don't really look like that. It's a combo of angle and lighting and all that fun stuff. There is actually definition between my neck and my face and I don't have the … [Read more...]
I haven’t been blogging
I briefly toyed with the idea of doing NaBloMoFo or whatever it is, but then I went the other way by not blogging at all. In truth, I've had too much going on to blog. Which sounds ridiculous, because isn't that what I'm supposed to be blogging about? I have this issue with truth. In college creative writing classes they taught us about "Creative Non-Fiction," a term, I have heard, you'll get laughed out of town for using in the publishing world, even though it's taught like it's a real thing in college. We were taught with triumphant school speak that your experiences are yours! Your … [Read more...]
Who Are All These Buttless Women?
The other day, The Modern Gal talked about avoiding the new Gap jeans because they have pocket flaps and she has some junk in her trunk she doesn't feel like accentuating. My immediate thought was, "damn, guess I can't get new jeans at Gap anytime soon," because my trunk is also not without some junk. Even when I used to run seven miles a day and was in the absolute best shape of my life (something I'm working to get back to/surpass), my derriere was the most pronounced feature of my figure, and I had a horrible time finding jeans. And I don't think my shape is unusual. I think I am the … [Read more...]
100 Things – 36-45
36. I need the shirts in my closet to be lined up in color order. I would rather leave my clothes crumpled in the laundry basket than put them away wrong. J's side of the closet makes me cringe.37. I'm messy. I can clean the house from top to bottom and have it looking showroom perfect, but an hour later, messes start exploding around me again.38. I have a very low tolerance for jobs that will be quickly undone, like making the bed, doing the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.39. I have a houseplant named Slartibartfast. He's a potted palm, and I've managed to keep him alive for over a year … [Read more...]
How hard is it to put on pants?
On Saturday, my laptop cord broke. It was well past the point of being successfully rigged with electrical tape, so J and I went to the Apple Store to get a new one. On the way into the mall, we saw a girl wearing pajama pants and a really ratty sweatshirt. Her hair was gathered on top of her head in a scrunchy, and she looked like she'd either just gotten out of bed, or carefully crafted her look so it would look like she'd just gotten out of bed and was even adorable when she wasn't trying. "How hard is it to put on real pants?" I whispered to J, because I was feeling crabby and … [Read more...]
I am not rocking the ‘tober.
Question: So, how hard was my Rocktober fest pledge? Answer: Not very. Have I actually done anything resembling taking 20 minutes a day every day away from the computer/dog/cat/husband/phone? No. On the day I took the pledge, I decided to go for a walk by myself to take in the changing leaves. But then Argo started getting all excited when I went for my shoes and I just didn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't invited, so I took him with me and the walk was all about trying to keep him from licking trees and fire hydrants. For several days, I forgot about my pledge … [Read more...]
Sha la la la!
On Sunday night, the hubs decided to make a pot of decaf. We were sitting at the kitchen table and it was cozy and the idea of a cup of coffee was too ideal to pass up. "This is decaf, right?" I asked, joking. "Ha! Would be funny if it wasn't," he said. We clarified which bag the coffee came from, and it was, indeed, decaf. Unfortunately, it didn't matter. While I was about to pass out at 7, by 10:30, I was completely wired. I sat in bed, catching up on Grey's Anatomy episodes on my laptop. I was only going to watch one, but ended up watching 3. Then, of course, I started worrying … [Read more...]
Mrs. Larkin is my mother-in-law.
On Friday, I went to a junior high school about an hour south of here to discuss Bathtub Mary with a group of 8th graders who'd spent the week studying it in class. It was amazing. It's wonderful to have friends and family say they like your story, but it's another thing to have 43 8th graders show up for an optional meeting after school in the library on a beautiful, sunny Friday to ask questions about it. This, I believe, is probably more of a testament to their amazing teacher than it is to my writing, but it still felt like the highest compliment I've ever received. These kids were so … [Read more...]
Is it too late to join Rocktoberfest?
The Modern Gal, one of my favorite blog-ladies, started Rocktoberfest as a way for us to put a spring in our step even though spring was a very long time ago. I love fall so much. It's my favorite time of year. But I really feel like this year my time has been spent more on taking care of business and less on taking care of me. I have this uncanny ability to stack my days against myself. And lately, my head has been spinning. As someone who spends a lot of time writing about imaginary people, I think it's important to do things to stay grounded. I have an amazing therapist, who I see on … [Read more...]