MENUMENU
  • About
  • Buy
  • Press
  • Book Clubs
  • Writer Resources
  • Allie Larkin
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • g

Allison Larkin

Internationally Best-Selling Author

You are here: Home / crabbypants / So glad I didn’t hit Publish Post

So glad I didn’t hit Publish Post

November 14, 2008 Filed Under: crabbypants

Yesterday, I wrote this really long diatribe about how confident and comfortable I am in my own skin now and how I like me and I’m proud of my accomplishments. Then the segment I taped came on TV and I got distracted and didn’t hit send.

They were so kind to me at the station and I am really so thankful for the opportunity, but can I just say Holy unflattering camera angle, Batman! I’m trying to be good and recognize that I don’t really look like that. It’s a combo of angle and lighting and all that fun stuff. There is actually definition between my neck and my face and I don’t have the neck version of cankles. At least not that badly. I am trying really hard. I am also trying to think, so what if I looked bad. I’m not my appearance. I have a brain. That’s what’s important. And I sounded okay. I really did.

But the irrational part of me is still not ready to get out of my pajamas, and is actually taking the whole thing pretty hard.

This is totally not a cry for “oh, you looked good” compliments. This is a cry for “oh, I don’t think you’re superficial, I know how you feel,” commiseration.

8 Comments

Comments

  1. David says

    November 14, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    So when can we see the video? :-)

    Reply
  2. Allie says

    November 14, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    It’s on the other site. :)

    Reply
  3. Howling Hill says

    November 14, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    I focused on hearing your voice not so much what you look like, your mannerisms, or even your message (because I know it from your blog).

    You did a great job but I know my typed words won’t do anything to alleviate your discomfort. You just have to feel it from within.

    Reply
  4. Noelle says

    November 14, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    In watching the video, I thought they were way too extreme close-up on you, and there was an odd light coming from the top that should have been diffused. It’s like they lit you as if you were a brunette, not a radiant blonde, and the effect was that you got washed out. Good lighting is so key!

    Speaking as someone who sat across a table from you for more than an hour, that is not an accurate depiction of your looks.

    Reply
  5. The Modern Gal says

    November 14, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Commiseration: I has it.

    I made a cameo in an online video for the local newspaper. I didn’t know I’d be doing it, so I didn’t prepare well with makeup and clothing choice and as a result looked 10 lbs heavier with horrible skin.

    And the evil trolls who leave comments on the newspaper’s website devolved into a discussion about how we weren’t hot. Talk about a severe confidence blow on something that I shouldn’t even care about.

    Reply
  6. Courtney says

    November 15, 2008 at 1:51 am

    I just commented on the post above this one, but I repeat: You looked good. And I’m not saying it to make you feel better, but because it’s true. (OK, I do want you to feel better. But it’s still true!)

    Reply
  7. Mickey says

    November 15, 2008 at 1:55 am

    I’m glad Noelle mentioned the lighting, because she’s a pro, but I was thinking the same thing. The hair light was a bit much. And the angle and whatnot. Hey, those people at the studio are just doing their best, I guess.

    Reply
  8. Wendy says

    November 15, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    Isn’t that the way it always goes? Just when you feel good about yourself of good in your skin, something comes along to knock you totally off balance. Been there – still doing that!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

  • Home
  • Allie Larkin
  • Blog
  • Book Clubs
  • Contact
  • Writer Resources

allielarkinwrites

Okay, fine. Her jacket is reversible and we kinda Okay, fine. Her jacket is reversible and we kinda match. I admit it. Alright? We all knew this was coming. None of this should be a surprise to any of us. #dailyroxydog #huskychihuahua #dogjacket #peoplewhomatchtheirdogs
Just a dog in a puffy jacket that matches her lawn Just a dog in a puffy jacket that matches her lawn chair. And she likes it! #dailyroxydog #chihuahuamix #ilovemydog
We are in the habit of starting and ending our day We are in the habit of starting and ending our days side by side in our lawn chairs, while the light rises or dims. It’s still chilly at the outer edges of the day. Sometimes Roxy shivers. I bought her a sweater, but she won’t wear it. Sometimes I try to wrap her in my jacket, but she’s not having that either, so I throw her ball and try to get her run and then she comes back to her chair, warm for a little longer. #dailyroxydog #huskychihuahua #dogssittinginchairs
“I got a secret I should tell. I’m going up to “I got a secret I should tell. I’m going up to heaven in a split pea shell.” ~ @petermulvey43 Words Too Small to Say
Happy as a dog in a freshly dug nap hole. #dailyro Happy as a dog in a freshly dug nap hole. #dailyroxydog #huskymixesofinstagram
I saw this little dresser at my favorite magic ant I saw this little dresser at my favorite magic antique store sometime in November and didn’t buy it. But then, of course, I kept thinking about her. She’s the perfect size for my office, and I found those drawer pulls hilarious. When I finally went back in December, I told myself I was shopping for wall art, because I assumed she would be gone. But she was right where I’d seen her last: balanced on another dresser with boxes of old picture frames and tchotchkes piled on top (the true mark of a magic antique store). I didn’t even realize she had a towel rack — that she was a wash stand, not a dresser — until I asked about the price, said I’d take her, and my favorite magic antique store person asked if we needed to unscrew the towel rack to fit her in my car. I suspect this little sweetie is not from the days of necessary wash stands so much as from a country kitchen in the 80s. She was in rough shape, and not made from wood worth stripping and re-staining, but her price reflected that. I had to disassemble that door and put it back together, but I’d been in the market for some experience working with old furniture, and she made me feel brave about trying. I thought about painting her something more neutral, but I’m so glad I didn’t. She deserves to be pink. She’s not perfectly painted and needs a few touch ups. I learned some things about chalk paint and finishes. The drawers stick a bit. Eventually, I’d like to line them with fabric and when I do, I might plane the edges to smooth things out. But goodness, I love her in a way that I wouldn’t if I hadn’t spent time cleaning away her cobwebs and scrubbing the grime from her hilarious drawer pulls. She’s also become a little shrine for the book I’m working on, which makes me love her even more. I’ve always been a person who sees some soul in certain things, and I’m learning to cherish that idiosyncrasy, because there’s so much joy to be found in a brave little toaster or an underdog wash stand. We’re not here in the world for all that long. We may as well love some bright little things. #furnituremakeover
Load More... Follow on Instagram

© Allison Larkin | Site by Little Leaf Design