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Allison Larkin

Internationally Best-Selling Author

You are here: Home / who are the people in your neighborhood / Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

November 18, 2008 Filed Under: who are the people in your neighborhood


My neighbors are a very odd collection of people. The neighborhood is a combo of people who built these houses as their dream houses almost 40 years ago and still reside here, and the people who have filled in the spaces when someone has died or moved to a Boca. I often describe our neighborhood as a retirement community without the benefits of water aerobics classes and a shuffleboard court. It’s not a bad place to live, really. I can’t say I love it, but it’s perfectly adequate. It is, however, strange. People here aren’t very open or friendly. We’ve lived in our house for almost six years, and I have only actually directly spoken to maybe five of my neighbors.

So, I decided every once in awhile, I’d fill you in on some of the characters who live near us.

Today, I’ll tell you about The Aging 80’s Hair Band Family.

The Hairbanders, as I like to call them, live a few houses down. I believe the family consists of an older son living with his parents, but I’m not entirely sure. Argo and I have walked past their house while they are outside. I’ve been smiley and polite, but they have never even once looked in our direction while we passed, leaving me to wonder briefly if my dog and I have the ability to become temporarily invisible.

The son appears to be constantly on call to stand in for the lead singer of Europe, and has probably been since at least 1986. He’s got the lion’s mane hair, and I’ve never seen him wearing anything other than faded Zubaz and decaying concert t-shirts with cracked decals. His friends, who are many, all ascribe to a similar aesthetic.

I like to think there’s a club or local message board where people who believe it’s still the mid-80’s congregate. Perhaps if we had cable I would find a public access show on the topic. And the thing is, I have to admit that I have this sense of awe and almost envy of that fact that they have found a genre, an era, a look that works for them, that makes them happy, and they have the courage (or maybe blinders) that allows them to stick with it. I love people who march to the beat of their own drummer, even if that drummer is Tommy Aldridge.

When I was a bartender, one of the cooks proudly told me that 80’s hair band music was the greatest popular music genre ever for it’s ability to consistently pack massive arenas with fans. I always wanted to ask him how hair bands died then. I mean if people consistently showed up, why aren’t we still listening to Winger or Warrant without any hint of irony. And when it started dying, weren’t the arenas spotty in attendance? Weren’t hair bands something of a flash in the pan, really?

But I’m starting to realize for him, it never died. Maybe, like the Hairband family, it’s still going on in his mind. And maybe Mr. Hairbander can’t see Argo and I because he’s been blinded by imaginary stagelights.

Update: Apparently, the cook and Mr. Hairbander aren’t alone. Check out the masterpiece that is Rocklahoma! Excuse me while I go eat crow. I don’t believe there’s anything being done ironically at Rocklahoma. Perhaps hair bands never die.

4 Comments

Comments

  1. Howling Hill says

    November 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    Hair bands ROCK, dudette. 80s rock will NEVER DIE!! Never! And Europe Rocks!

    (ok, on a lesser “I rock” note, think about it: classic rock has not died out at all. Zeppelin, The Who, The Stones, etc are played on the radio ad nauseum. Classic rock is everywhere. Now we’re seeing arena rock pop up on classic rock stations meaning arena rock isn’t going to die anytime soon. And now that the hairbanders are getting getting “old” (shiver!) *our* music is starting to show up on classic rock stations. I heard Guns N Roses the other day on the classic rock station. I almost cried. I wanted to call the station and say “hey, music I listened to in high school is NOT CLASSIC ROCK.” )

    Reply
  2. Howling Hill says

    November 19, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    I was just thinking, shouldn’t hairhand music be called “hair rock”? I mean, there’s classic rock and arena rock. Hair rock seems logical.

    Reply
  3. Mickey says

    November 19, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    First off, damn you for that opening clip. I stopped it as soon as I could, but I was already a few notes in and that’s all it takes.

    Second off, Rocklahoma! Holy crap do I want to go to that! They should hold a festival like that across the street from Bonaroo. It would cause the universe to implode.

    And good story. I’d be desperate for Hair Band Family to notice me if I were you, too. They sound awesome.

    Reply
  4. The Modern Gal says

    November 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    I was totally worried hair banding was becoming a lost art. Now there’s hope for the future!

    Reply

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Internationally bestselling author of STAY, WHY CAN'T I BE YOU and SWIMMING FOR SUNLIGHT. THE PEOPLE WE KEEP coming from @gallerybooks on 8/3/2021

Allison Larkin
A few days ago, I took this photo of turkeys while A few days ago, I took this photo of turkeys while I was out on a run, marveling at how wild animals do not seem to mind when they see me. Once, I almost bumped into a deer, the way a couple might meet-cute in a rom com. We just didn’t see each other. I’ve always thought it was a fun little quirk. Not even bunnies are afraid of me. But this afternoon on my run, I came up over a hill and was suddenly within fifteen feet of a wild boar. Thankfully, a year or two ago I got curious about the big traps that show up trailside around the bay, looked them up and learned about how fast, ruthlessly aggressive, and unpredictable a wild boar can be. Otherwise, I might have (stupidly) thought I was in the middle of another one of my Snow White moments and been all “Hello there, Mr. Pig! Look at you!” believing that I could quietly observe in wonder. Instead, I knew this was a bad situation. The boar grunted and moved to the center of the trail. It felt very ‘You shall not pass!’ But I did not want to pass. I wanted to get away. I backed slowly for a few moments and then turned and ran faster than I ever have in my whole life. I’ve since learned that there’s no way that boar chased me, because there’s no chance of outrunning a boar (climb a tree if you can). But I know that boar saw me and also wasn’t happy about the surprise, and I had a moment, racing back over the hills I’d just run — not daring to look behind me more than once or twice in fear I’d lose my footing — when I truly did not know what would happen. I’ve been in scary situations, but they were a different kind of scary. I don’t think I’ve ever flat out run for my life before, but that’s truly what I thought I was doing. Right now I am still full of adrenaline and also exhausted and so so thankful to be okay.
My lemon is a happy fox. #fruitfaces My lemon is a happy fox. #fruitfaces
I think there’s something about getting older an I think there’s something about getting older and reaching back to the core of who you are. I’ve always been at my happiest when I’m up in a tree.
Portrait of the bestest girl. Stella may be slowin Portrait of the bestest girl. Stella may be slowing down, but she’s still exceptionally curious. #dailystelladog #germanshepherd
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