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Allison Larkin

Internationally Best-Selling Author

You are here: Home / TMI / It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. . .

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. . .

January 20, 2009 Filed Under: TMI

I woke up this morning with the absolute worst cramps (sorry if this is TMI). It was so bad that J had to take Stella for her walk because I could only manage to put on my jacket before lying down on Argo’s dog bed in the fetal position.

When J came back, we sat at the kitchen table with our coffee. J was reading feeds on his computer.

“I want a new uterus,” I told him. “You should order me one.”

“Okay,” he said, and typed uterusinto the Amazon search bar.

“Just books,” he said when the results came up. “And there’s a CD, Uterus & Human. Crap.” He looked at me. “This is really going to frack with my Amazon recommendations. ” He looked back down. “Yeah, see? Already. Friends, Season 4.”

10 Comments

Comments

  1. Ashley says

    January 20, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    That is just…GREAT.

    I love it. :) You guys sound like fun!

    (Uh, minus the cramps stuff. Sorry about that!)

    Reply
  2. The Modern Gal says

    January 20, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Ha ha ha. That’s hilarious.

    Hope you feel better. I’m always looking for an opportunity to trade my body in for a newer model.

    Reply
  3. Mickey says

    January 21, 2009 at 2:53 am

    J! With the sense of humor!

    As if he could get by without one living with a writer and two dogs.

    Reply
  4. Reluctant Blogger says

    January 21, 2009 at 10:08 am

    haha yes that is funny.

    Hope the cramps have now passed. No fun at all.

    Reply
  5. Noelle says

    January 21, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    I wonder what the reviews are like for uteruses. “Predictable ending,” “thoroughly engaging,” “I’d like to go back there from time to time.”

    Reply
  6. Courtney says

    January 21, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    The One with Phoebe’s Uterus! I’m well-versed in Friends. I hope your uterus feels better.

    Reply
  7. K says

    January 22, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Hillarious. Nothing is too much information for me. I actually feel the same way today!

    Reply
  8. Allie says

    January 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Ashley – Thanks. We have a good time together.

    MG – I do feel better. If you find a good deal on a newer model, let me know.

    Mickey – A sense of humor and the patience of a saint.

    RB – Much better now. You’re so right – no fun at all.

    Noelle – You crack me up! That is way too funny!

    Courtney – The One with Phoebe’s Uterus – that’s great!

    Reply
  9. Chile says

    January 23, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    In a weird bit of synchronicity, we just watched “Shrimp on the Barbie.” One of the minor characters is the same minor character from Mannequin: the annoying gal with the long dark hair that tried to “kill” the mannequin. It doesn’t stop there, we also just watched John Cusack (and Joan) in “Gross Points Blank.”

    When you find a good uterus store, wouldya let me know, please? I don’t think I’m gonna like pre-menopause assuming that’s WTF is going on here. (TMI!)

    Reply
  10. Allie says

    January 29, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    Chile – I promise I’ll share the name of my uterus store when I find one.

    Reply

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