It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. . .

I woke up this morning with the absolute worst cramps (sorry if this is TMI). It was so bad that J had to take Stella for her walk because I could only manage to put on my jacket before lying down on Argo’s dog bed in the fetal position.

When J came back, we sat at the kitchen table with our coffee. J was reading feeds on his computer.

“I want a new uterus,” I told him. “You should order me one.”

“Okay,” he said, and typed uterusinto the Amazon search bar.

“Just books,” he said when the results came up. “And there’s a CD, Uterus & Human. Crap.” He looked at me. “This is really going to frack with my Amazon recommendations. ” He looked back down. “Yeah, see? Already. Friends, Season 4.”


  1. That is just…GREAT.

    I love it. :) You guys sound like fun!

    (Uh, minus the cramps stuff. Sorry about that!)

  2. Ha ha ha. That’s hilarious.

    Hope you feel better. I’m always looking for an opportunity to trade my body in for a newer model.

  3. J! With the sense of humor!

    As if he could get by without one living with a writer and two dogs.

  4. haha yes that is funny.

    Hope the cramps have now passed. No fun at all.

  5. I wonder what the reviews are like for uteruses. “Predictable ending,” “thoroughly engaging,” “I’d like to go back there from time to time.”

  6. The One with Phoebe’s Uterus! I’m well-versed in Friends. I hope your uterus feels better.

  7. Hillarious. Nothing is too much information for me. I actually feel the same way today!

  8. Ashley – Thanks. We have a good time together.

    MG – I do feel better. If you find a good deal on a newer model, let me know.

    Mickey – A sense of humor and the patience of a saint.

    RB – Much better now. You’re so right – no fun at all.

    Noelle – You crack me up! That is way too funny!

    Courtney – The One with Phoebe’s Uterus – that’s great!

  9. In a weird bit of synchronicity, we just watched “Shrimp on the Barbie.” One of the minor characters is the same minor character from Mannequin: the annoying gal with the long dark hair that tried to “kill” the mannequin. It doesn’t stop there, we also just watched John Cusack (and Joan) in “Gross Points Blank.”

    When you find a good uterus store, wouldya let me know, please? I don’t think I’m gonna like pre-menopause assuming that’s WTF is going on here. (TMI!)

  10. Chile – I promise I’ll share the name of my uterus store when I find one.

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