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Allison Larkin

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You are here: Home / STELLA / Ever have the urge to call someone a buttface in public?

Ever have the urge to call someone a buttface in public?

June 8, 2009 Filed Under: STELLA

Even though I’ve been busy, I’ve been working to socialize Stella. And slowly, but surely, she is warming up and getting more comfortable with new situations. Anyone who knows dogs has commented on how sweet she is, despite her fear issues.

I talk to neighbors when we go on walks, so she can get used to being around people she doesn’t know. We take both dogs to a German Shepherd playgroup once a month. Stella and I go for walks with my friend M and her dog on an almost weekly basis (which is, admittedly, more about socializing me). And any time I have an excuse to go to the pet store, Stella comes along.

She doesn’t shake anymore when we walk through the automatic doors, and while she avoids getting too close to people, she doesn’t try to fuse herself with my leg anymore when she sees them. She does, however, still bark at other dogs when she’s on her leash. Apparently, this is called leash aggression, and it’s quite common. It’s also an issue she had already when she came to us. The most effective way of dealing with leash aggression is to stop it before it starts, so we’re fighting a little bit of an uphill battle. But we’re fighting it. We’ll get there.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands that Stella is all bark and no bite. She’s sweet and goofy and affectionate. She is a wonderful dog, and it breaks my heart a little when people look at her like she’s a vicious beast just because she’s barking. She’s under control. I’ve got a good grip on her. I correct her. I don’t put her in situations where she could hurt or get hurt (even though I honestly do not believe she’d ever hurt anyone). I am a responsible owner. Right now, my dog barks a few times when she’s on her leash and sees other dogs. Get the eff over it!

We were at Petsmart the other day. Stella caught wind of a big, drooling bulldog and barked at him. She tried to lunge in his direction, but of course, I didn’t let her. She barked a few time from across the wide center aisle. I told her to stop and kept walking with her. Stella stopped barking, and we went on our way to look for a water fountain for the cat (I know, I know, but the cat had a UTI a few weeks ago and wasn’t drinking enough water). As we were walking away, I heard the bulldog owner let out a big disgusted sigh, but I ignored it.

When we got in line at the register, a little girl came up and asked if she could pet my dog. I told her it probably wasn’t a good idea. I think Stella would be fine, but since she’s still getting used to the whole being out in public thing, I didn’t want to push it. I got distracted talking to the little girl, and didn’t notice when Bulldog Lady got in the line next to us. Stella barked at her dog again. I told Stella to stop and she stopped. I made her sit, and she did, and I praised her for paying attention to me.

Bulldog Lady got up to the register and said LOUDLY to the checker, “I don’t understand why people bring dogs like THAT out in public.”

Well, I usually keep my mouth shut and turn the other cheek in situations like that, but I was about to develop my own leash aggression situation. Luckily, I didn’t have to.

The checker said to Bulldog Lady, “Actually, they tell people who rescue dogs to bring them out to get them socialized when they have issues like that.” She turned to me and said, “Is she a rescue, honey?”

I said, “Yeah, we’ve only had her since November.”

The checker kept scanning Bulldog Lady’s items, but ignored her to chat with me. “Good for you!” she said.

We talked about where Stella came from and how she’d had a lot of crate time and not a lot of socialization and she was scared of everything when we got her, but she’s so much better now. The checker finished up with Bulldog Lady, and we watched her storm out in a huff. I really wish I’d gotten the checker’s name, so I could have called later to tell the manager how awesome she was.

13 Comments

Comments

  1. equa yona(Big Bear) says

    June 8, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    HOORAY for check-out champ-my hero!
    It has been my(limited) experience that the folks at pet stores do tend to be animal lovers and pretty understanding. Bull dog Lady didn’t say she had a rescue did she? Of course not.
    Keep up the good work Allie.

    Reply
  2. Reluctant Blogger says

    June 8, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    Oh what a great ending. Good on the check-out girl.

    Some people are just rude all the time – they are bullies really.

    Mind you, I was walking today in the wood when this dog ran towards me barking and then four others started to come over as well. This man tried to get them to come back to him but the barking one was not keen to do so. He didn’t make any attempt to apologise to me or say anything at all. I was well pissed off. If I had been timid of dogs or if I had had a small child with me it would have been very scary. The dog should have been on a leash if it could not be trusted, surely?

    Stella looks very beautiful and it does sound as if your hard work is paying off and that she is getting less stressed in public places. Good for you!

    Reply
  3. Allie says

    June 8, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    RB – Oh! That’s so not okay! You can’t let a bark-y dog who doesn’t listen wander around off leash to go terrorize people! It’s so important to be aware of your dog’s limitations (and your own) and be respectful in managing them.

    Reply
  4. AL says

    June 9, 2009 at 1:59 am

    Jacob and I were outraged at Bulldog Lady. Jacob says “there are a lot of stupid people out there” He would know I guess. People don’t always understand Lola’s behaviors either. When we explain she is an abuse case, they all nod their heads, like they understand. I am happy that you have some great people working at your PetSmart too! :)

    Reply
  5. Dingo says

    June 9, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Stella is adorable and you are working so well with her! It’s sometimes very frustrating, isn’t it? Dingo Girl has leash aggression as well. What our trainer advised is to keep treats on us at all times. As soon as she spots another dog, give her a cue (we use “Yes”) and treat her. We’re not to even give her a chance to get tense and barky. It’s exhausting, especially here in the city where there are dogs every five feet! We’re working on it and we’ve definitely seen an improvement.

    I like your cashier! It’s so good to have understanding people validate your (and Stella’s) efforts.

    Reply
  6. Courtney says

    June 9, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    You’d think other dog owners would understand. You were totally in control of Stella, and really, it’s just a little barking. It’s not like Stella tried to bite her dog or anything. What a drama queen.

    Awesome check-out lady, though. Next time you go back, if you see her, you should try to get her name so you can say good things about her to her boss.

    Reply
  7. TMC says

    June 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    I have a similar situation. I have a rescued pit bull who is a couch potato. She wasn’t socialized when young (she was raised in a shelter situation with a sister who didn’t like her) and then went to an unhappy and abusive home for about a year or so. She barks, she growls, she doesn’t do well on leash, she gets easily scared and stressed out. I work with her but I don’t push. She seems very comfortable with our routine.
    Good for you for working so hard! Some folks just don’t understand the commitment it takes to care for critters that others thought were too much trouble.

    Reply
  8. A Free Man says

    June 11, 2009 at 12:22 am

    You’ve got to love passive aggression. Great folks.

    I was thinking ahead to my next dog – don’t ask, I’m just like that – and was leaning towards a German Shepherd. I’ve had two huskies in a row and fancy a dog that’s easy to train. This post is making me think that easy is a relative term?

    Reply
  9. Allie says

    June 11, 2009 at 12:49 am

    AFM – I think a German Shepherd would be much easier to train than a husky. And since you already know big dogs, and working dogs, I think having a GSD would seem “easy.” With some caveats – they are needy dogs. They like to be with you. This also means they are eager to please, and if you work with that, you’ll be golden. Also you want to look for a GSD that doesn’t show aggressive tendencies – you want a sweet dog (even if you think you want protection). And you may want to look for a puppy for your first GSD. Argo was 5 months old when we got him, but he’d come from a breeder who knew what they were doing in terms of raising him. Stella’s issues come from lack of socializing (we didn’t get her until she was 13 months). I think if she’d been socialized at an early age she’d have been an incredibly easy dog. Personally, I think GSDs are amazing dogs. And I think they’re totally worth the work.

    Reply
  10. Jen says

    June 11, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    People are just plain rude. Glad the cashier stood up for you. Kudos on rescuing!

    Reply
  11. The Modern Gal says

    June 22, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    It drives me crazy when people jump to conclusions about your dog. So many people look at Lucydog and think evil pitbull when really she’s a sweetheart — and she’s a sweetheart because she’s been socialized and learned how to be her loving self around everyone, not just me.

    Reply
  12. Chile says

    June 25, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    Great check-out lady! Until we got rescue dogs, we probably weren’t as understanding ourselves. Now that we have one, we see the issues they can have and the frustration in not knowing their past history.

    Our new dog is a German Shepherd Dog-Husky mix. We’ve had a husky so we understand that part of him, and yes, they are hard to train because they are very independent-minded and strong-willed. Very loving dogs though, except so loving they’ll go home with anyone that has treats!

    We’re not too familiar with GSDs though and learning. Our mix does bark and lunge towards other dogs on the walks but it is because he wants to play with them.

    Unfortunately, our other dog has taken on the rold of Mother Hen and now lunges and barks at other dogs in a bad way. She wants to protect the new dog. Both will be starting obedience class on Saturday where we hope to get help dealing with this!

    Reply
  13. Robj98168 says

    July 6, 2009 at 3:20 am

    LOL I am mentally wagging my finger at old snooty-bulldog owner-
    Rescues can be difficult- I have had 5 myslef over the years- Romeo is the friendliest I have had – next to Max my yorkie and dog love of my life. I have never heard of breed specific puppy play groups before. You learn something new everyday- sounds like you are doing the right stuff with Stella- Love that name- makes me want to pput on a t-shirt and go outside and yell STELLA real bad.

    Reply

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Allison Larkin

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Internationally bestselling author of three novels as Allie Larkin and THE PEOPLE WE KEEP. Look for HOME OF THE AMERICAN CIRCUS @gallerybooks May 2025

“Larkin abandons the typical story arc in favor “Larkin abandons the typical story arc in favor of a more naturally flowing up-and-down journey that basks in beautiful moments like a slice-of-life story. Whether it’s banter at the bar Freya’s working or a leaking roof that is simply one more thing than she can possibly handle right now, the characters and their experiences are so real and pure that their joys and sorrows are amplified tenfold.” 

So honored by this AP review of Home of the American Circus! 

https://apnews.com/article/home-american-circus-allison-larkin-book-review-79ea3d1fdb69ef16232a8dfb7d148ad6

#homeoftheamericancircus #booksbooksbooks
I’ve seen a bunch of references to Home of the A I’ve seen a bunch of references to Home of the American Circus as my second novel. It’s actually my 5th! Before The People We Keep, under the name Allie Larkin, I wrote three books: Stay, Why Can’t I Be You, and Swimming for Sunlight. Here they are in their various editions with some of their translations! (And @justjuliawhelan also narrated Stay and Why Can’t I Be You, if you’d like to listen!)

Fun fact: That gorgeous dog on the hardcover of Stay was actually our dog Argo, and I took that photo of him when @duttonbooks couldn’t find the perfect photo of a black German Shepherd. #booksbooksbooks #bookstagram
Pub Day Part One. The thing is, it’s really hard Pub Day Part One. The thing is, it’s really hard to be a creative person in the world, and the blessing, the salvation, the joy of it is the community around art: the writers who will call an emergency novel Zoom meeting when you’re stuck on a draft, the ones who roll up their sleeves and make sure your words are saying what you intend to say, the one who writes an interview to promote your book in the local paper, the reader who captures pictures of the event and makes a reel, the bookstore saints who plan a meal based on the story and serve blue and yellow cupcakes and sing happy birthday to your book on launch day, the readers who show up and get books signed and ask great questions and tell stories about their lives. That’s book magic. And thanks to @townecenterbks (especially Judy and Stacey although I know there are bookstore saints behind the scenes too) and @reneewritesnovels and @woolfmania and @cassandra.a.dunn and @lindalattelessons @aneedleinmybookstack and everyone who showed up to Read it and Eat, I will never ever forget the pub day for Home of the American Circus. You all made it so special. Thank you! I love you. I’m so grateful to be part of the community of writers and readers. ❤️🐘
@deborahblakeauthor RIGHT BACK AT YOU! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I will be back on Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I will be back on the grid tomorrow! I love you all so much and I’m so grateful for your support! 😘😘😘 #homeoftheamericancircus
Well, here we are on the eve of Pub Day for Home o Well, here we are on the eve of Pub Day for Home of the American Circus! 

You know that classic bit of writing advice about how you’re supposed to write the book that scares you? Well, for a long time the thought of actually writing and sharing Home of the American Circus scared the heck out of me. I spent many many years collecting ideas for this book, terrified by the thought of how deep I’d have to dig to tell this story the right way. The book is firmly fiction, and the characters are all my imaginary friends, but the setting and themes are literally and figuratively close to home for me. Freya’s story isn’t mine, we have different life events and demographics, but I understand her sense of grief and loss and floundering and hope on a cellular level. And of all the characters I’ve ever written, the way her mind works is the closest to how I think and feel. It takes place in the town where I grew up. And I think when you read this book, you won’t know my life story, but you will know the tenor of my heart. I grew up as a kid with undiagnosed ADHD in a place where I didn’t fit, frantically trying to look normal, believing it was the only way anyone would love me. Always falling short, terrified of failure. And then in my early twenties, I dropped out of college and worked at a biker bar and made such a huge mess of my life that I was forced to build myself up again brick by brick—this time knowing that failure isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. That as long as you can find the strength to try again in one way or another, falling flat on your face is not the end of the world. And I learned that the only way to truly feel loved is to be yourself and see who’s up for loving you in your natural form. The people I keep taught me that. And even though it scared me, this was a book I needed to write, it’s the work I’m most proud of, with characters I love the most. So sharing it doesn’t feel like the end of the world at all. Just the end of the world where I have not shared this novel set in ny hometown with a character who has a heart like mine. #misheardlyrics #rem #homeoftheamericancircus #awkwardguitar #itstheendoftheworldasweknowitandifeelfine
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