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Allison Larkin

Internationally Best-Selling Author

You are here: Home / crabbypants / It’s bad when public restrooms feel like the lap of luxury.

It’s bad when public restrooms feel like the lap of luxury.

December 18, 2009 Filed Under: crabbypants

Last week, Mickey called me out on the fact that I had back to back Wordless Wednesday posts. I meant to post Tuesday, so I could put up a photo on Wednesday without going for three in a row, but, I didn’t get to it, so I didn’t post at all. How do you like me now, Mickey? :)

Here’s a rundown of things that have happened since I last used actual sentences in a blog post.

  • Argo had another bump, and I had to take him for a needle biopsy. It turned out to be benign, thank goodness, and our vet is so incredibly awesome about calling the very second the results come in.
  • I’ve been working on a project with brand new characters and it’s occupying my brain to the point where I feel like I can’t communicate, beyond a tweet here and a Facebook comment there, for whole chunks of my day. That’s not a complaint. I love being absorbed like that. I love loving a story and characters so much that I can’t stop thinking about them. I just feel bad for ignoring phone calls or forgetting to answer e-mail, and worry that I qualify for the crappy friend award this month. This too shall pass (I promise!), once I get a little further in to the project, and our home life quiets down a bit.
  • I got my character playlist right.
  • We had a fire in our microwave.
  • I ordered holiday cards that I think are hysterical, but once I got them I started worrying that everyone else might think they’re mean. They aren’t mean. They’re funny, okay? Of course this is all a moot point if I never get them in the mail . . .
  • Stella has been out of sorts since we had a house full of guests at Thanksgiving. She’s decided she won’t eat unless I sit next to her while she eats and don’t attempt to do anything other than sit there and watch her eat. She has me well trained. At least I don’t have to squat with her while she pees anymore. And I have to admit that it’s actually kind of nice to have a small span of time that cannot be occupied with anything other than hanging out with my dog.
  • J and I watched all the MI-5 episodes there are to watch, and to sublimate my withdrawal, I’ve developed a mean Mythbusters addiction.
  • We still don’t have a bathroom. We hired a contractor, because neither of us have the time or ability to finish the bathroom ourselves. At first, it seemed like we would actually have a bathroom by Christmas, but now it’s seeming like the idea of having a bathroom by Christmas was utterly absurd to begin with. Not only, that, but since Christmas and New Years fall right into the mix of things, we’ll have lots of days when no one will be working, but we still won’t have a bathroom. They are doing great work and are super nice, but it really sucked to get my hopes up and then have them smashed. Living here right now is a lot like camping, except I still have to vacuum, there’s no good hiking, The Crap Garden doesn’t exactly qualify as a scenic view, and the coin-op showers at the last campground I visited were far nicer than the shower in our basement.
  • I can’t seem to get my crabbypants off. It’s like they’re stuck on my freakishly large calves or something.

10 Comments

Comments

  1. GirlWithCurls says

    December 18, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Hehe… “crabbypants”…. But seriously, I tell Tim all the time that there are REASONS I was born in this century. One of them happens to be showers. Hang in there!

    Reply
  2. Dingo says

    December 19, 2009 at 12:31 am

    No bathroom, no ponies, what kind of two-bit establishment are you running over there?

    Reply
  3. courtney says

    December 19, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    You had a fire in your microwave?! How did that happen? Did you try to microwave something shiny?

    Reply
  4. equa yona(Big Bear) says

    December 19, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    I didn’t know you had freakishly large calves. How about a picture comparing them to, oh, a turkey drumstick or something.

    Reply
  5. equa yona(Big Bear) says

    December 19, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    ps. Sorry to hear about your crapper.

    Reply
  6. Reluctant Blogger says

    December 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Oh wow, so you are into your next novel already. Amazing.

    I did chuckle re the Christmas cards. A few years ago my eldest son annotated all his before he gave them – they were very very funny. Except of course some people did not get the joke at all (mostly thick people) and one person complained to me about them saying they were poor taste! I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled inanely.

    Hope you get your bathroom fixed soon.

    Reply
  7. Kyla Roma says

    December 20, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    LOL Your point about crabby pants made me burst out laughing, it sounds like we’re very similar. =)

    I really want to see your Christmas cards, they sound intreguing! And I’m currently downloading the podcast you recommended- thank you! I’m excited to hear what he has to say.

    Reply
  8. Corinne Bowen says

    December 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    Just sending you a big hug. The crabby pants will come off, but sometimes they stick like a comfortable pair of pj’s, especially when you work at home! xo

    Reply
  9. The Modern Gal says

    December 22, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    I’ve had permacrappypants this week. Too much stress in what shouldn’t be a stressful time. I imagine the bathroom isn’t helping you in that regard.

    I do love that Stella forces you to take some time, even just for a minute or two, while she eats. Leave it to a dog to teach us how to be more serene :)

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  10. Allie says

    December 30, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    GWC – Showers are magical, magical things, aren’t they?

    EY – How about no? :) But they are seriously on the big side. Knee high boots are not my friends.

    MG – It’s so true – I learn so much from my dogs. I hope your crabbypants fall off (but not in public, because that would be embarrassing).

    Reply

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Internationally bestselling author of STAY, WHY CAN'T I BE YOU and SWIMMING FOR SUNLIGHT. THE PEOPLE WE KEEP coming from @gallerybooks on 8/3/2021

Allison Larkin
A few days ago, I took this photo of turkeys while A few days ago, I took this photo of turkeys while I was out on a run, marveling at how wild animals do not seem to mind when they see me. Once, I almost bumped into a deer, the way a couple might meet-cute in a rom com. We just didn’t see each other. I’ve always thought it was a fun little quirk. Not even bunnies are afraid of me. But this afternoon on my run, I came up over a hill and was suddenly within fifteen feet of a wild boar. Thankfully, a year or two ago I got curious about the big traps that show up trailside around the bay, looked them up and learned about how fast, ruthlessly aggressive, and unpredictable a wild boar can be. Otherwise, I might have (stupidly) thought I was in the middle of another one of my Snow White moments and been all “Hello there, Mr. Pig! Look at you!” believing that I could quietly observe in wonder. Instead, I knew this was a bad situation. The boar grunted and moved to the center of the trail. It felt very ‘You shall not pass!’ But I did not want to pass. I wanted to get away. I backed slowly for a few moments and then turned and ran faster than I ever have in my whole life. I’ve since learned that there’s no way that boar chased me, because there’s no chance of outrunning a boar (climb a tree if you can). But I know that boar saw me and also wasn’t happy about the surprise, and I had a moment, racing back over the hills I’d just run — not daring to look behind me more than once or twice in fear I’d lose my footing — when I truly did not know what would happen. I’ve been in scary situations, but they were a different kind of scary. I don’t think I’ve ever flat out run for my life before, but that’s truly what I thought I was doing. Right now I am still full of adrenaline and also exhausted and so so thankful to be okay.
My lemon is a happy fox. #fruitfaces My lemon is a happy fox. #fruitfaces
I think there’s something about getting older an I think there’s something about getting older and reaching back to the core of who you are. I’ve always been at my happiest when I’m up in a tree.
Portrait of the bestest girl. Stella may be slowin Portrait of the bestest girl. Stella may be slowing down, but she’s still exceptionally curious. #dailystelladog #germanshepherd
Portrait of a woman who just wants a free moment t Portrait of a woman who just wants a free moment to paint over the poop brown bathroom walls that came with this house.
Working on a thing for a thing, but I ran out of d Working on a thing for a thing, but I ran out of daylight and dog patience. Back at it tomorrow. #authorsofinstagram
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